Welcome back to Egypt:
We missed you.
Call your mother, she worries.
They told you that you were a slave, and then promised they would lead you to freedom. Instead, they led you into a desert: scorched, barren, desolate, isolated, and snake-infested. After years of wandering you realized that they had no idea where the Promised Land was... and they refused to stop and ask for directions. Further reflection revealed that you never were a slave... it was them attempting to enslave you into their ideals. So, like Jesus, having fought the devil in the desert, you returned to civilization, wizened, victorious, and free.
Welcome home. We kept your room just as you left it.
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The Beliefs Pyramid:
What powers the anti-gay movement
The Ex-Gay pages:
The NARTH-ern Lies:
NARTHissism, NARTHissists, and their hidden agenda
- Anything but Straight:
Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth (Paperback)
- Outed homophobes:
Powerful men and women in the Ex-Gay movement who were either outed, or simply gave up of their own accord.
- The Speck and the Plank
Why there is so much anger and hatred within the Anti-Gay movement
- Truth Wins Out
A Non-profit organization that defends the GLBT community against anti-gay misinformation campaigns through media advocacy and university outreach.
Responses to Christian Objections to Homosexuality
Resources for the LGBT spiritual community
Read an excerpt from My Egypt
The homosexual agenda
For those of you who feel left out because you keep hearing about the Homosexual Agenda but you don't know what it is, well, WE HAVE IT, and we're going to share it. Pucker Up!
A Modern Day Good Samaritan
A modern day retelling of Jesus' famous story of the Good Samaratin.
Take our test to discover if you're truly gay or lesbian.
Are You Gay?
- Do you TiVo Martha Stewart when you're not home?
- Do you consider figure skating a sport?
- Have you ever cancelled a date because it interfered with the Emmys or Tonys?
- Is the only time you pay attention to football on T.V. during the huddle?
- Do you find yourself judgmental and bitchy while watching the Miss America pageant?
- Do the names: Jeff Stryker, Ryan Idol, Christian Cruz, Tag Adams or Jeff Palmer mean anything to you?
- Does the label of your underwear say "2(x)ist"?
- Does it take you two syllables to say "Puh-leeze"?
- Do you save the packaging materials from your Calvin Klein purchases?
- Do you "manscape"?
- Is your dog smaller than a bread box?
- Do you use the word "fabulous" even when you're not watching AbFab?
ARE YOU A LESBIAN?
- Have you ever worn flannel to a formal occasion?
- Do you own more power tools than shoes?
- Do you use your oven primarily for storage?
- Is your purse a "fanny pack"?
- Do you use mascara primarily to cover wood stains on your kitchen cabinets?
- Have you ever threatened the perfume girl in the department store?
- Is beer your idea of comfort food?
- Do your neighbors sometimes call you to fix their plumbing... cars... small appliances?
- Have you ever shaved your legs with a carving knife or a box knife?
- Does "fixing your nails" involve a hammer?
- Are you a pro with a soldering iron but completely befuddled in the presence of a curling iron?
- Do you get hit on by gay men?
The Exodus 20 Egyptian Rewrite
And god, whose voice did sound like Cher, spoke all these words saying:
I am the Diva, your ingénue, the prima donna who called you out of Exodus International, the anti-gay movement, and out of the land of bondage (and not the good kind).
- You shall have no other Divas before me...
- You shall not make yourself an image of any Divas:
You shall not elevate them above me, for this Diva is a jealous Diva and she will bitch-slap you into the Mid-West; but will serenade you at your favorite bathhouse if you adhere to my gay ways.
- Cher, Lady Gaga, Madonna, Judy Garland, Barbara, Or Celine.
- You shall not misuse my name by calling yourself a gay Republican for this bitch will not hold you guiltless... or let anyone else hold you at all... who insinuates that I am in any way associated with the Republican Party.
- Remember Sunday Brunch and keep it holy. You have six days to hang out at the clubs and cruise men and drink appletinis, and if you're just too hung over to make brunch then you should play bingo on Saturday night instead of clubbing. For in six days the diva preened and pranced and fussed over her outfits, but on the seventh, she sat down to brunch with friends and mojitos.
- Honor the old queens among you so that you may be plied with free drinks.
- You shall not give the "if looks could kill stare," even if someone does ask if you've "gained weight."
- You shall not covet your neighbor's ass (unless your neighbor is Zach Efron).
- You shall not steal glances at the gorgeous twinkie in Starbucks chatting on his cell phone (unless he's porn-star hot).
- You shall not give false testimony against your rivalry about his age or his waist size, his penis size, or how he is in bed.
- You call not covet your ex's house, his new partner, his social contacts, his Lady Gaga CDs, his porn collection, or anything that belongs to your ex